Before he eats - A parody of Before he Cheats by Carrie Underwood

Right now he's probably slowly eatin
With a bleached-blond tramp
And she's probably getting fresca

Right now, he's probably buying
Her some fruitopia
'Cause she can't shoot pepsi

Right now, he's probably up behind her
With a twenty
Showing her how to order a combo
And he don't know

I dug my fork into the side
Of his pretty little sauced-up medium rare steak
Carved my name into his turkey
I took a Louisville slugger to both heads of lettuce
Smashed a hole in all 4 plates
And maybe next time he'll think before he eats

Right now, she's probably up eating some
White-trash version of the Rib it

Right now, she's probably saying, "I'm Full"
And he's a thinking that he's gonna get Nuggets

Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars
Worth of that McChicken sauce

Oh and he don't know
I dug my fork into the side
Of his pretty little sauced-up medium rare steak
Carved my name into his turkey
I took a Louisville slugger to both heads of lettuce
Smashed a hole in all 4 plates
And maybe next time he'll think before he eats

I might've saved a little trouble for the next fat kid
'Cause the next time that he eats
Oh, you know it won't be behind me!
No, not behind me

I dug my fork into the side
Of his pretty little sauced-up medium rare steak
Carved my name into his turkey
I took a Louisville slugger to both heads of lettuce
Smashed a hole in all 4 plates
And maybe next time he'll think before he eats